Play to win rather than playing not to lose. Guest post by Kingy

Play to win rather than playing not to lose. Guest post by Kingy

Hey guys, I’m glad to have Kingy from PUA Method write a guest post for me on my blog. I met him a few years ago when I was in London and we did some day game together at the infamous Leicester Square. Well here he is to share some of his ideas with you all, and if you scroll down a bit there’s an infield video as well. Hope you guys enjoy it.


Johnny Wolf

Robert King (Kingy) Writes:
From PUA Method

I’’m delighted to write for Johnny Wolf today. Johnny and I met up in London a few years back and
we did game together. It was definitely a fun day approaching the women of London with him.

Okay, onto today’s post, ‘playing to win’.

‘Playing to win’ trumps ‘playing not to lose’, always.


In sports if your team starts playing not to lose then it’s time to worry! Whenever a team or athlete
tries to protect their lead they start to lose. They will drop points, concede goals and slide down the
points table.

Playing not to lose is playing it safe and this is when the downward slide begins. When you play to
win the mind-set is simple… “I must win”. Playing not to lose is harder to define and this is the major
reason for the problems. If you aren’t sure what you are trying to achieve then this creates
confusion. The brain is a tool to take you to where you want to go; it doesn’t deal with confusing
commands or negatives.

A guy going out to do PUA who plays not to lose will be unsure and unfocused. He will be afraid to
take risks and because of this fear he will not get rewarded.
Specifically for PUA, if you play to not lose then you will receive fewer rejections but also you’d get
fewer opportunities. A guy who plays not to lose won’t approach the “hard” sets of women, he
won’t escalate hard and he won’t close hard. Everything about his game will be safe. Is a woman
more attracted to a man who plays it safe or the one who goes for what he wants and takes some
risks? Unless you are dealing with a woman in her 30s looking to settle down then the answer is
always, the guy who takes risks.

Video of Robert King from PUA Method picking up on the street

In PUA it is actually attractive to women if you just try to escalate or do something brave. Even if
you over escalate this will still give you points in the woman’s eyes. A man who is persistent and is
playing to win is more likely to be a successful man. It also means his children are more likely to be
brave and more likely to reproduce. These are the thoughts in her subconscious mind.
It boils down to this…….

It is okay to make mistakes

Nothing really matters, especially not a blowout. In my nine years of doing cold approach pick up
and teaching over one thousand students face to face I’ve never experienced a bad blowout. In fact
I’ve never even seen someone get a bad blowout. The worst is always, “please can you leave us
alone.” That is the absolute worst.

Women walking around the bar or club don’t notice or even care if you got blown out. A girl friend
of mine told me recently.

“The guys who don’t approach don’t deserve women, they are losers”, “If a guy approaches we will
at least respect him for approaching.”

Now I have more empathy for guys trying to approach than my friend does. I understand that it is
tough and that men get Approach Anxiety (AA), everyone gets AA it to some degree. Women don’t
understand this though, especially hot ones. Every man that they approach will LOVE them and
offer to buy them a drink. Women don’t often get social anxiety. So it is important to remember, as
long as you approach, she will at least respect you. That is a lot better than being considered a
‘loser’ for not approaching like the other guys.

The PUA’s in the club who are playing not to lose are afraid and confused. They don’t want to be
embarrassed, they don’t want to hurt their pride, they want to look cool, they want to be liked, they
want to fit in. All these worries end up paralysing the guy and he plays it safe and does nothing. The
play not to lose guy lets other people’s opinions dictate to him who he is.

The guys who are playing to win, want to get the girl and have fun. That’s it! It is a lot simpler and
less confusing. They see a girl that they like and they go straight up to her and go for it.
Some guys have been raised really well by their parents and so are be able to go for what they want
easier than others. If you have trouble to stop caring about what people think about you then you
need to train yourself to start. Set yourself targets and force yourself to go for them. Get your
friend to point out a girl to you and if you don’t approach her in 15 seconds then you pay your friend
some money. This will train you FAST to go for what you want. See her and go for it. Never worry
about what losing is, instead, play to win.

Robert King Kingy PUA Method

Consider two guys. The play not to lose guy is called “not losing” and the play to win guy is called
“winning”…. haha I just said that to myself in the Charlie Sheen voice! “WINNING”
Anyway, so ‘Not Losing’ goes out and he plays it safe, he cares a bit too much about rejection. He
does ten approaches, he gets two blowouts, he has seven interactions that are pleasant but go
nowhere and he gets one number.

‘Winning’ goes out and he plays to win. He approaches twenty women, He gets ten blowouts (a few
of them in front of lots of other people), five phone numbers, two kiss closes and he takes a girl
home at the end of the night.

Who is the winner?

Not losing got less rejections but Winning got more results and had fun. I think we all know the
answer to this one.‘Winner’ is the winner, always.
Blowouts don’t matter. All blowouts will do is make you hardened to them and give you social
momentum. We are all the same, human; we all have weaknesses and strengths. No one is perfect.
Go out there and go for what you want, no procrastination. There are guys doing this already and
they are getting all the rewards!

Finally, rejections are fun. When you get used to rejections they become funny. Everyone gets
blown out, many times. A master pick up artist will get blowout several times in a night but at the
end of the night he’s got a load of numbers and has pulled a hottie home. Guys who are good at
game understand this. They don’t expect or need every woman to like them. Some women will
disgust you, don’t sell yourself out to try and pick up a girl like this. Move on.
Some women just won’t be into you too. But who cares? Life is short, you have to get out there and
go for what you want.

As long as you are approaching then that is success!

Post in the comments section what has motivated you to go for what you want,

Peace n Love,

Robert (Kingy)


Read more articles from London:
ENTOURAGE GAME: Why you should never go clubbing without it



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